For about a year now we have had a general idea of what we would be looking for in a potential donor. Good shape, healthy lifestyle, clean history of genetic conditions, same blood type as myself or C, brown/blonde hair, green/blue eyes and if possible no dominant facial features. Now that the time has come for us to actually choose, we have tried not to be too fussy with the physical side of things. Just to open up the options a bit.
Yesterday we had to visit QFG for three pretty important appointments. The nurse, the psychologist and the sperm donor coordinator.
First up was the fertility nurse; she was really friendly and welcoming. She talked us through the artificial insemination and IVF process, how each cycle will work and all the costs involved. It only went for about half an hour but was pretty informative.
Next up was the dreaded session with the psychologist. Over the last week or so I had really been preparing myself for whatever was to be thrown at us during this appointment. I was nervous but at the same time I was ready. We had been warned that questions such as “How will you explain your family situation to your child” or “Why are you choosing an unknown donor? Have you considered using a family member of your partner instead?”, “How will you tell your child about the donor?” etc. We had the answers all ready to fire off with confidence. Turns out we had been stressing for no reason. Though when he did first come out to call us in, I couldn’t help but think how this old man, with his high waisted slacks, patterned green socks and his pasty white skin, looked as if he may belong to an unfriendly church. I guess this is precisely why I should never judge someone on appearances. He was professional but still friendly and the whole hour felt like more of a general parenting session than anything else. It was great. We talked about the age at which children start asking questions about where they come from, whether they have a dad and the age appropriate responses. Although he had advice, throughout the session he maintained that as parents it was completely up to us as to how we handled these questions. One thing he was really passionate about was how important it was that we never refer to the donor as Dad. This has always seemed obvious to me but over the past few months when talking to people they have referred to the donor as exactly that – Dad. It was getting to a point where not only was it infuriating but I was beginning to question myself. He told us that it was also important to make sure our family and friends are onboard with the donor being called a donor. It was something we hadn’t thought of before. Even though both our families are supportive of us starting a family, they may not realise how important it is to us that we are our own family unit. Our family will have two mums instead of a mum and dad. Simple.
After that we had to meet with the donor coordinator so she could get us registered. It was pretty straight forward really. We get a login, password and a run down on the local and overseas sperm banks they’re affiliated with. This was a surprisingly short appointment of about 30 minutes. We hadn’t even reached the car park when I received our donor program login details. So I’m sure you can guess what we did as soon as we got home. Let’s find us some sperm!
So that’s us for now. Will update very soon with our donor searching adventure!
Written by S
– AI (artificial insemination), or
So I guess that’s what I have to do.
Written by S
This morning I had an appointment with Dr Lesbian to get the results of the pre-pregnacy blood tests. As expected everything was fine. I don’t need the Rubella booster shot which is great as it would have meant waiting an extra 3 months before attempting to conceive. The only vitamin I was lacking in was vitamin D so I just need to get out in the sun a bit more. I’ve always been so damn sun smart, making sure I covered up properly when out in the sunshine as I’m rather pale and at risk of skin cancers. It appears all that effort has backfired. If my levels don’t increase then I’ll just have to take an extra vitamin D supplement on top of the Elivit tablets I’m already taking. So it’s no biggie.
I went to the doctor on my own today as I needed to get a PAP smear as well. It’s something that I have avoided for 11 years now. I knew it was going to be unpleasant and I was right. My doctor was great though and made it super quick and explained what she was doing as she did it. Now I feel a bit silly for being so nervous. I know this whole baby making process is going to involve a lot of uncomfortable, invasive and sometimes painful procedures. So as simple and quick as a PAP smear was I now feel like I’ve broken past a barrier. I have now allowed someone to put their head between my legs and poke around when it wasn’t even sexy time. Barrier smashed. Hooray!
Results for that will take about 2 weeks not that I’m at all worried. Dr L says that being both young and a lesbian puts me at very low risk. Good to know.
We have made our appointment with QFG for the 17th Sep. We called on the 16th Aug so there was about a 4 week wait which isn’t too bad really. I just hope that doesn’t mean a 4 week wait between every appointment.