Results are in

We were told to wait until 2 days after my next period was due to take a home pregnancy test. Let me tell you, when you’re waiting that is a long time. A really, really long time. So of course I convinced Candice that I should take a test early just for the fun of it.

First test – 9 days post ovulation

I honestly don’t know what I was thinking as there is absolutely nothing fun about seeing that negative result come up on the stick. I was still a little bit sad that day, despite knowing that it probably wasn’t an accurate result. Do you think the disappointment was enough for me to avoid taking another early test 4 days later? 
Second test – 12 days post ovulation
Another negative. By now we were both pretty sure there wasn’t going to be a pregnancy this month. However, a few people had told me that they had gotten a negative result around this time but then gotten a positive test days later. So I tried not to be too discouraged even though there was only a tiny bit of hope at this point.  
Third test – 14 days post ovulation
Another single line indicating a negative result. This was expected but still just as disappointing as the first test. 
A few hours after taking this test my stomach felt really crampy and I got my period. So our first donor IUI cycle has failed. I think next time I’ll wait until I’m supposed to take a test instead of doing early ones. Otherwise I’m going to have a box full of sticks that make me feel pretty heartsick.
I’m on day 2 of our next donor IUI cycle. I’m not looking forward to the insemination and I’m beginning to feel quite bitter at how clinical making a baby has to be for us. I guess I just hate having so many people not in our relationship involved in it. I only just got off the phone an hour ago after having to call the staff at QFG to confirm that – 
  • No, the test was negative
  • Yes, I have my period right now
  • Yes, I will go into see their nurse for blood tests on day 11 of this cycle
  • Yes, I will call someone to confirm my donor ID number on day 12
  • Yes I will go for more bloods with another nurse on day 13 of this cycle
  • Yes, I will come in to see the doctor for the insemination procedure on day 14

We know without a doubt that it will all be worth it in the end. I suppose being right at the very start however, it’s hard to remember that there will be an end. That we will have the family we so badly want. And it will be awesome. 

Should we be keeping this a secret?

There is only a very small handful of people that know we are trying to start a family. For this reason I suppose it may seem strange that we have this blog in existence for anyone on the Internet to stumble across and read. Yet we keep the details written on here a secret from almost all members of our families/friends circle, including my own parents.

We both felt pretty strongly about waiting until I was around 3 months pregnant before sharing the news with everyone else. I personally still kind of feel that way. The question is though, should we be keeping this a secret? Will people be hurt or offended that we kept such important news to ourselves?

I had a coffee date with my mum today, which is actually a pretty rare event. We don’t catch up anywhere near as much as we should. My mum is a busy lady and we’re both a little slack in organising coffee dates. It’s quite a contrast to the relationship that Candice has with her own mother. They talk on a daily basis, sometimes 3 – 4 times a day. Anyway, during coffee my mum drops the question that she often does – “so when are you going to give me a grandchild?”. For some unexplained reason I slightly panicked and said “Seriously? Jeez, I don’t know.” This then led into a conversation that I’m almost certain ended with my mother under the impression that I never want to have kids. How did that even happen? The whole time I was sitting there with the knowledge that I could very well be pregnant right now. If she knew, I’m pretty sure she would feel a little hurt that she has been left out.

This made me recall the 3 main reasons why we decided to keep it from most people.

  1. We aren’t sure that everyone would be 100% supportive and don’t want any of the associated negativity that may come with that.
  2. We didn’t want any added pressure or expectation that I would manage to get pregnant quickly.
  3. We are quite a private couple and there is something legitimately warm and fuzzy in keeping this to ourselves.
The last thing that we want to do is hurt or offend anyone but at the end of the day, it’s really up to us who we choose to tell. If, at the end of the week, the pee stick shows a positive result we may even be so excited that all our plans of waiting 3 moths to share the news go completely out of the window. If not, I still know my mum will be deliriously happy when she does eventually find out and I’m sure she will quickly forgive the secrecy. In fact, she may even understand why we chose to keep it that way. She can be pretty awesome like that.

The costs of making a baby

It has now been almost 3 months since we first started this blog, documenting our hope to start a family. A couple of days ago, we went in for the very first insemination attempt and now we are just waiting it out until I can take a home pregnancy test in two weeks. I have to say, it was quite a strange feeling to be sitting in a waiting room trying to slowly defrost the little vial of sperm in your hands. The procedure went well and was only as unpleasant as I had already expected.

Obviously we’re hoping for a positive result but to be honest, neither of us feel like it will be. I know it sounds stupid but I just don’t ‘feel’ pregnant and I kind of thought I would at least feel a bit different. Given that there’s only a 12-15% chance that it will work I guess it’s probably best that we are expecting the test to be negative.

Since I won’t have anything to blog about for the next couple of weeks, I thought that I could share all of the costs we have had so far. Starting from our first GP appointment through to our first artificial insemination. 
  • GP appointment: $55 – This consultation was to get a referral to Queensland Fertility Clinic, depending on your doctor the fee can be bulk billed. 
  • Elevit (100pk): $67 – These multi vitamins aren’t exactly essential but as your doctor will tell you they contain all the good stuff to help develop a growing baby during pregnancy. It’s recommended you begin taking these 3 months before conception.
  • Fertility specialist appointment: $128 – This consultation is where you first meet with your ongoing fertility doctor and decide on what path you would like to take in regards to IUI, IVF etc. 
  • AMH blood test: $75 – This test is to find out your ovarian reserve.
  • Donor registration fee: $525 – This is a one off fee that enables you to gain access to the QFG donor program. If you are planning to use an unknown sperm donor, you will need to pay this.
  • Fertility specialist follow up appointment: $100 – This consultation is to find out the results of your AMH blood test and to also make plans for your first insemination (if you have already chosen your donor sperm).
  • Donor sperm: $1900 – Each vial of donor sperm is $950 and we purchased 2 vials.
  • Planning and management of patient fee : $120
  • Ovulation monitoring fee: $530
  • Intrauterine Insemination procedure: $250 

Total cost so far: $3750 – There are a few other small expenses such as city parking, home pregnancy tests etc but the ones I’ve listed are the more direct costs.

The next time I post, I will have peed on a stick followed by happy tears because it’s a positive or disappointed tears because it’s negative. Unfortunately either way there is bound to be crying!