There is only a very small handful of people that know we are trying to start a family. For this reason I suppose it may seem strange that we have this blog in existence for anyone on the Internet to stumble across and read. Yet we keep the details written on here a secret from almost all members of our families/friends circle, including my own parents.
We both felt pretty strongly about waiting until I was around 3 months pregnant before sharing the news with everyone else. I personally still kind of feel that way. The question is though, should we be keeping this a secret? Will people be hurt or offended that we kept such important news to ourselves?
I had a coffee date with my mum today, which is actually a pretty rare event. We don’t catch up anywhere near as much as we should. My mum is a busy lady and we’re both a little slack in organising coffee dates. It’s quite a contrast to the relationship that Candice has with her own mother. They talk on a daily basis, sometimes 3 – 4 times a day. Anyway, during coffee my mum drops the question that she often does – “so when are you going to give me a grandchild?”. For some unexplained reason I slightly panicked and said “Seriously? Jeez, I don’t know.” This then led into a conversation that I’m almost certain ended with my mother under the impression that I never want to have kids. How did that even happen? The whole time I was sitting there with the knowledge that I could very well be pregnant right now. If she knew, I’m pretty sure she would feel a little hurt that she has been left out.
This made me recall the 3 main reasons why we decided to keep it from most people.
- We aren’t sure that everyone would be 100% supportive and don’t want any of the associated negativity that may come with that.
- We didn’t want any added pressure or expectation that I would manage to get pregnant quickly.
- We are quite a private couple and there is something legitimately warm and fuzzy in keeping this to ourselves.