Tears and gratitude

Yesterday morning you could find me sitting in the nursery, hands on my belly, crying my eyes out. I had stumbled across an Instagram account belonging to a young mum who lost her baby 8 weeks ago due to complications during labour. After 12 hours of active labour the emergency c-section came too late and he was born without a heartbeat. Scrolling down her page and reading her story was so incredibly heartbreaking. The idea of losing a baby at such a late stage is something that up until now, I hadn’t even considered.

I can’t imagine the pain of going home to an empty nursery.

I’ve been left with heavy feelings of sadness for this woman. How do you come back from something like that? For my own sanity, I’m trying not to think about it too much today and focus more on being grateful for the healthy baby we have growing inside my belly right now. It can be easy to forget how lucky we are sometimes.

The other day I went for a scan to check the placental location and general growth and well being of the baby. Placenta has moved out of the way, no longer sitting right next to the cervix opening which is great news. As for the people that thought I was going to give birth to a 10lb baby, they’re wrong. Well, according to the scan measurements anyway. He is actually measuring a little small. We’ve been reassured by both the sonographer and the OB that this is nothing to be concerned about. All of his organs look great, his heartbeat is nice and strong and he is well proportioned. He is just measuring abound 8 days smaller than he actually is. The sonographer said that some women just have small babies and some have big babies. The OB said that given my size (and that our donor isn’t a giant) it’s not a surprise that the baby is small. So it looks like we can expect an average 7-8lb baby. I’m not all that sure how accurate these measurements really are at predicting weight. I think they are more of a rough guide but I still feel a slight sense of relief that he isn’t HUGE.

We have our baby shower planned for this Saturday and it is forecast to rain. Hopefully it’s more of a light shower than constant heavy rain so we can still have it partly outside. Otherwise it could become a tad cramped inside our house. We have been making a few more things for the baby shower over the last week and now I can’t wait to see how it all comes together. Despite the crappy weather forecast, we’re hoping everyone still turns up and has a good time. Well, as much a good time as is possible at a baby shower, anyway.

Candice has made up little word game booklets for those people wanting to play.
These lolly jars will be used as prizes for the winners.
Cupcake toppers

Flags for the straws

Week 34 belly shot!

One thought on “Tears and gratitude

  1. You three are all so lucky, but also so deserving. Unrelated to the person you are posting of, Even though I couldn’t bring Indie home with us I felt amazed at my body and how it just knew what it needed to do for her birth. 14 hours and each one was pure bliss, I want to do it every day, over and over.
    You are so lucky, but don’t worry, I know you will have a great last few weeks waiting for your little man and then get to see his little squishy face. Can’t wait to see it all unfold.


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