With good days, come bad days.

Oscar is growing up so quickly and each day we learn something new about him. We are learning the best ways to settle him and beginning to differentiate between his cries.

Candice started back at work last Thursday and things at home haven’t been as easy as I thought. After the perfect week we had when we first arrived home, Oscar has finally found his lungs. We had our first difficult day late last week where he spent the whole afternoon being fussy. I didn’t know what to do as it was the first time he had been like that. It was quite a hot day so I tried cooling him off but all he wanted was for me to hold him and feed him. As soon as I would begin to feed him he would fall asleep but wake and cry the second I would try to put him down. This continued until Candice got home from work at 5pm. It was a stressful day and by the end I thought maybe he wasn’t getting enough milk from me. Candice suggested that we try and give him a bottle of formula to see if he settled after that. We gave it to him and then he fell asleep for 4 hours. Naturally I immediately thought that he must have been starving. I then started stressing about my milk supply and tried to research the best ways to increase it. However, that night I was sent an article explaining that all babies tend to get fussy and that it’s perfectly normal. It also said that after this fussy time, babies will often go down for their longest sleep of the day. Oscar has been peeing/pooing like crazy as well as putting on weight consistently, which would indicate that he is getting plenty of milk from me. The next day he was fussy at exactly the same time but instead of resorting to a bottle we pushed through and I continued to breast feed and hold him. At almost the same time as the day before he fell asleep and then stayed asleep for about 4 hours. I haven’t been as concerned about my milk supply since then and I’m just continuing to feed him on demand. Sometimes that’s every 3 hours and sometimes, like last night, it’s every hour. I’ve read that it’s the best way to increase milk supply so as painful as it can get, that’s the way it is for the time being.

Having a newborn really teaches a higher level of patience. It doesn’t matter how tired you are, how grumpy you are. It doesn’t matter how defeated. If that baby is crying, you put on a happy voice to distract him or a soothing voice to calm him. Even when all you want to do is slump down in the corner of the room and cry from exhaustion, you can’t. He is all instinct and he needs you. I have had 2 particularly difficult days with Oscar where I have broken down and cried. His little cry truly breaks my heart and when I’m unable to figure out what’s wrong, I feel horrible. Lack of sleep combined with post pregnancy hormones can really make a mess of you!

It’s taken all day just to write this short post but I got there in the end.

I’m very, very tired, almost deliriously so, but happy. Candice and I love laying in bed and listening to his little baby noises. Adorable!

Black and white picture love. IMG_0214 IMG_0339 IMG_0406 IMG_0329 IMG_0337

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8 thoughts on “With good days, come bad days.

  1. He’s so beautiful! The newborn days are rough, because they do tend to cry a lot and it’s hard to get them settled. And you’re right about the patience. That level of patience seems to increase as they grow older, thankfully, because they sure do know how to press buttons in toddlerhood!

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    • Haha thanks for the toddler warning! I just wish I could read his mind to know what was wrong. As difficult as I’m told toddlers are, I can’t wait to see his personality really come out 😊

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  2. I can relate to all of this! Declan was such an angel the first week of his life and then the fussiness started and things got a bit difficult. I can’t tell you how often I worried about my milk supply. And how often I cried! We still have bad days, but they actually do get easier as you and your baby get to know each other a little more. Hang in there! He’s absolutely stunning. ❤

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    • Thank you! It’s funny because before Oscar was born I was worried about how I might cope if we couldn’t stop the crying but I’ve been surprised at how we’ve managed. I guess it’s true what they say about ‘mothers instinct’. Lucky he has 2 mothers! 😉

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  3. You are all so loved and beautiful. I can’t really relate to a newborn but the emotions and the hormones I suffered. And still do. Yesterday I cried my eyes out watching a street performer. Just know that Oscar would feel just how loved he is and no matter if you need to cry or scream or sleep for days you are all exactly where you need to be, with each other. Big squishy hugs.

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    • Aww, thank you. The hormones really are quite insane. I started crying the other day when I was looking at photos of him shortly after his birth. Just at how much he has changed already. I’m still not sure if they were happy tears or sad tears!

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