First up, this is probably going to be a short post. Right this minute Oscar is asleep… Finally. Some days he really puts up a fight and it leaves us both so drained and exhausted.
There has been a lot of crying today, mostly from him but a little from me. I hate not being able to comfort and settle him! Candice has been doing overtime at work most days lately as it’s really busy. On one hand this is good as it means a bit more money each week but on the other it’s really hard for me. By the time she gets home I feel so ruined and honestly a little down. Not every day, just the hard ones. And boy, oh boy, today is a hard one.
Oscar just woke up and after feeding, changing, rocking him back to sleep, putting him down, then picking him up, repeat, he is passed out on my chest and I’m now typing this post from my phone as I can’t reach the laptop anymore. I don’t want to risk waking him again by even moving. I’m been trying to figure out what is wrong with him and why he is so unsettled and gassy. It has to be from my breast milk since that’s all he eats but I can’t pin point the cause. I’ve already started eliminating dairy from my diet but now I’m suss on onion/garlic. Who knows.
Candice won’t be home from work until late tonight. It’s 7.30pm right now and she doesn’t expect to be leaving for a few more hours yet. I keep going back and forth in my head about whether or not to call my mum and ask if she could come over just to give me a little break. I know she wouldn’t mind but I feel bad asking as I know she would have her own things she needs to take care of after work.
I’m also realising that have a problem with letting other people settle Oscar when he is upset. I can’t stand hearing him cry and having to listen to someone attempting to settle him, unsuccessfully, kills me. I try and wait as long as I can but eventually I can’t help but take him off them and try to do it myself. I know it’s not fair to that person but I swear it literally hurts me when he cries like that. My headache intensifies and my left shoulder nerves ping. Candice is actually pretty good at getting him to sleep and my own mum is known as the ‘baby whisperer’ but I still think in both cases I would still try to take him off them to settle him myself. I need to stop this.
I feel like I am completely rambling right now. My phone is on 9% battery charge so I had better wrap this up. Let’s hope tomorrow is a better day. Here are a few photos of Oscar in dreamland. How sweet and peaceful does he look when he isn’t fighting sleep…