A few posts ago I spoke about how I was learning to let go and relax. I’ve stuck by that and since then, a lot of things that had been bothering me have actually fallen into place on their own.
Oscar is still taking one of his milk feeds in a bottle once a day without any drama and we’ve even made small progress with his sleep. It’s far from perfect but it’s better than it was a month ago. I give full credit for that success to Candice. She feeds him at around 5.30-6pm and then walks him around the bedroom until he falls asleep. Then comes the most difficult task of transferring him into his cot without waking him. The first few nights were really hard and he woke a lot and didn’t settle again very easily. There was lots of picking up, rocking, patting, massaging, and top up feeding. The progress we’ve seen in the last few days is that he is staying asleep for longer periods and when he does wake, he settles much quicker. Most of the time he doesn’t even need to be picked up! She just pats or rubs his back for a few minutes and he goes back to sleep. Throughout the night is still a struggle and he spends almost all of it in our bed. He’s waking 3-4 times and wants to nurse. I’ve tried to settle him back to sleep in other ways but he just gets more and more upset. So I give in and breastfeed until he falls asleep.
We’re still waiting for his top teeth to cut through. Everyday I think, “yep, they’ll be through by tomorrow”, but everyday they are still sitting just under the gum. I can feel that the right tooth is closer to the surface so I think that’ll be the one to cut first. Ugh, I can’t wait for this teething period to be over. I hope he has more of a break before the next teeth want to come through because I also need a break. Well, at least my nipples do. They’re both so damn sore and I’ve now got 3 blood blisters on one. I understand that his gums are causing him pain but geez, kid. Take it easy.
Something else that has been on my mind is my appearance. More specifically my lack of effort regarding my appearance. I wonder if it’s just me or do all stay at home mums ‘let go’ in that area. Most days I’m in my PJs until lunch time, sometimes longer. When I do finally get dressed, I choose comfy pants and an oversized t-shirt or singlet. Which, let’s face it, is basically just fancy PJs. I used to love putting in effort and choosing an outfit for the day, a little make up and styling my hair. I guess I find it hard these days to justify putting in any effort when I know I won’t be going anywhere or seeing anyone. I take Oscar for a walk most days but it’s only local and as the months go on, I care less and less about how I look to all the dog walkers, joggers and other pram walking mothers I pass along the way.
Confession. I miss getting compliments from Candice. Well, I do get a lot of compliments from her but just not so much on my appearance these days. I mean, with the amount of effort I’ve been putting in, what could she possibly compliment? “Hey, nice jeggings (that you’ve worn 3 days in a row), that hoodie really brings out your eyes.” Truth is, I’ve really let go. My diet is pretty shocking and I always wait until my hair is gross before I bother washing it. Purely because it’s such an effort to blow dry and straighten it afterwards. I saw a recent photo of my sister (mother to a 4 year old and a 3 year old) and she looked great! She was wearing a dress, a cute cardigan and her hair was healthy and styled. I felt inspired to put in more effort and I now plan to. My new philosophy, look good, feel good!