It’s been 8 weeks since I have posted an update that wasn’t just a photo entry. Why, you ask? Well, I would say it’s part exhaustion, part even more exhaustion. I feel like Candice and I have spent the last 2 months desperately trying to find our feet since I have returned to work. The good news is that I think we have finally found a rhythm. It’s been difficult because not only have I returned to full-time work but full time time shift work. On top of that, Candice is super busy at her work right now, with deadlines looming so she has been working an average of 3 hours overtime everyday.
It’s been hard, it’s been hectic and we’re pretty beat.
If you don’t follow our story on Instagram, you wouldn’t know that Oscar’s first daycare didn’t work out. Although it was a gorgeous centre, we did not like the staff. And come on, the staff are the only thing that matters when you are leaving your child in the hands of a childcare centre. The great news is that we were so, so lucky to get him into a daycare that just started up in late August. Not only does it open earlier in the morning, it’s slightly cheaper, allows a maximum of 8 babies in the nursery (compares to double that at his previous one) and is closer to home. Oscar has settled in there so well! He has never shed a tear when we’ve said goodbye to him in the morning and he has formed a really cute bond with the nursery leader. Honestly, I think Candice and I mention to each other, almost daily, how amazing this place is. They want to know all about us as a same-sex parenting family, which is so much more important to me than I had ever imagined. They also want to know everything about Oscar and all his favourite things, what he gets up to on the weekend, his fears, etc. We get little family ‘assignments’ such as writing a brief paragraph of something exciting that Oscar has done on the weekend. For example, we wrote about a camping trip we went on and the very next day, they brought in and set up a teepee for the nursery room so all the kids could “share and experience camping” with Oscar. Seriously, it’s the little things like this that make leaving him, to go to work everyday, that much easier. He is always happy when we pick him up too. Seriously, sometimes he gets distracted on his way to me by a ball or toy. Um, hello, kid! You haven’t seen me all day, show me some love! If I’m serious though, this is the best reaction I could want as it means he is happy there.
I don’t think I can begin to explain just how difficult the whole returning to work after maternity leave experience really is. The guilt that I felt in those first few weeks was overwhelming. I cried a LOT and I felt incredibly lost. Since becoming a parent, I have really learnt to listen to my instincts and boy did I feel them. So you can imagine the internal struggle I felt at leaving him to return to work. It was the strangest, most heartbreaking experience. And no one prepared me for it.
Yet, here we are, barely 2 months in, and everything seems to have fallen into place. I’m not saying that it will be this hard or easy, depending on how you look at it, for everyone else. I’m just giving you a tiny insight into our experience. What a roller coaster it has been!
I am going to aim to post everyday for the rest of the week as there is a lot I should catch up on. Oscar is now one!