I think I mentioned early on somewhere in this blog that Candice and I planned to wait until Oscar was 4 years old before we tried for another baby so that he would be about 5 by the time we had another newborn at home. For several reasons.
- We wanted to leave enough time with just us and Oscar so we could give him one on one attention while he was young.
- It would mean he would have started prep/preschool by the time the new baby would be born.
- Everything would simply be a whole lot less stressful and difficult as Oscar would be old enough to communicate well, able to help out and he would (surely) be sleeping through the night.
That was our plan up until about Christmas. I guess I was feeling a bit baby crazy at the time as I started talking to Candice about what it will be like when we have other. The newborn bubble, the milestones, the whole starting from scratch again. It was at this point that she said, “If we are going to have two kids I think I would prefer to have them closer in age.” At the time, I was a little taken aback. It wasn’t what we had planned but I instantly got butterflies at the idea. But good butterflies. I became swept up and was onboard within minutes. I love the idea of Oscar having a sibling close in age as it would mean that they can be playmates in a few years. My own younger sister and I are 2 years apart and I loved having her around when I was a kid. Sort of like a best friend that never went home.
However, there’s another reason that we want to have our two kids closer in age. It’s more of a practical, almost selfish one and it’s that we just want the ‘baby years’ over and done with. I know, it sounds terrible. Candice figures that we’re already tired all the time, we’re already unable to go out or go on stress free holidays, we’re already living the life of parents to a very young child. By the time Oscar is 5, we would have gotten back a lot of our freedom. We will have gone through all the hard yards, reaching the end of the tunnel only to then have to start again and go through it all once more. Meaning it would be another 5 years before we tasted that freedom again. That’s a whole decade of our lives!
I have entertained the idea of actually not having anymore children and just stopping with Oscar. He could be an only child like his Mumma is. I think about how much more money we would have. How much more time we would have. The idea that the worst is now over and that things will only ever get easier from here on in. But every time I do think about it, my heart aches so terribly to imagine that we won’t have another. This tiredness we feel right now will eventually pass and when it does, I can’t even deal with how much I know I would regret not having another baby.
So we’re doing it. Not right now but later this year, perhaps early next year we will start making the necessary appointments. Last time it took 6 months to get pregnant and we’re hoping it won’t take any longer than that the second time around.
I already know that everything will be completely different the next time. In the lead up to having Oscar, we were so excited and ready. While I didn’t have an easy pregnancy, I just took it in my stride, not wanting to complain too much because I was too grateful simply to be pregnant. During my year of maternity leave we didn’t feel any financial stress because we were so prepared. I’m not so sure that we will be as prepared next time. I know we will be fine but things will definitely be tighter.
Another concern that I have is my work. I’ve been back for about 9 months now and I’m only just starting to adjust back into it. Many of my colleagues left while I was on maternity leave so I’ve had to try to fit in with a new group of people and it hasn’t been easy. I worry that by the time I finally settle back in and feel comfortable again, it will be time for me to go on maternity leave.
All these worries are small in the big scheme of things though. I’m sure all our fear will melt away the minute lay eyes on our second born. Thinking back to the newborn bubble… yep, there are those wonderful butterflies again.