Over the past few days, Oscar has been showing me some super sweet affection. He seeks me out and wraps his arms around me in a full embrace, head on my shoulder and everything. After a few seconds, I kiss him on the cheek and thank him for the beautiful hug at which point he returns to what he was doing before. It’s enough to make my heart explode. Like, BOOM.
I mentioned a couple of posts ago that when Oscar is having a meltdown, I gently ask him if he is okay and if he would like a hug. I also admitted that he rarely did accept my cuddle offer. I have continued to do that but now I also try to sit with him while he’s having a hard time dealing with his emotions. When he’s upset and in the middle of an epic meltdown at home, I’ve started to get down on his level, do my usual “Are you okay, want a hug?” bit and I just wait. I just be there. I don’t try and distract him with something loud, bright or sparkly, I don’t walk away and ignore him, I don’t force affection on him. And guess what has started happening? He realises I’m there and puts his arms out for a hug. I really think this way of parenting works for our kid. Now I just need to put it into practice all the time. I need to keep calm and not get stressed. Because sometimes I can get really stressed.
I struggle big time when Oscar has tantrums in public. I don’t do any of the things I would do at home. I basically pick him up (at which point he arches his back and screams louder) and try to quickly remove him from the situation. I try to distract him with something. I’m instantly put in a bad mood and feel stressed. Basically it’s not good for either of us. Why, oh why do I care what strangers think? Everybody knows that toddlers aren’t easy. That they throw tantrums and can become unreasonable over the smallest things. As he gets older, we will be able to teach him how to behave when we are out and about but for now, he’s simply too young to understand. It’s really hard and something I need to work on.
With oscar being 20 months old now, he is becoming covers in bumps and scratches. His little legs are polka-dotted with bruises and his need to climb everything is out of control. I now ‘kiss better’ all his bumps and he loves it. It actually seems to help! This morning I was chasing him around the house, trying to convince him that putting on socks was actually a really good idea, when he tripped and fell. He hit his arm on the corner of his bedroom door and started crying. When I reached him, he held up his arm for me to kiss and then went off on his merry way. I clearly have a magical healing kiss.
So that’s where we’re at for the time being. I’m going to soak up all the extra love I’m getting from Oscar because who knows when he’ll decide that he’s too cool for it.