Outside influence

The older Oscar gets, the more I realise that no matter how hard we try, we aren’t the only ones raising him. Most weeks he spends up to 40-50 hours at daycare. That is 40-50 hours a week that someone else is teaching him, influencing him, caring for him, raising him. It’s a hard fact to swallow but it is what it is.

I know they are professionals that are trained in early education and they have a passion for child developement so I’m mostly fine with it. But I do have moments where I wonder if they would handle the situation/behavior in the same way that we would. I like to think yes. After all he responds so well to them, I guess because it’s very similar to the way we are with him at home. They’re doing a fantastic job with him, that much is clear. He’s polite and caring, always giving hugs and waving goodbye to everyone when we leave. Most importantly, he’s happy there.

It’s just weird to see the way other kids react and behave. When it’s really obvious that their parents must deal with situations in a very different way, when the kids seem to lack understanding. They seem possessive or confused or angry in a situation and unable to work though the moment. My first thought is that I want to help that kid. My second thought is always curious to know how things work in their home. Maybe I’m just being judgmental. I don’t know enough about children, about humans even, to say if it is actually a direct result of the parenting. Some kids are just naturally more emotional, short-tempered, aggressive. Born that way, if you will. But I don’t think that should be the end of it. I really believe with some patience and understanding, that children can grow and learn how to handle difficult situations. I’m also aware that some are never given that opportunity and often enter adulthood lacking the emotional skills that they could have learnt as children.

I feel like I’m getting off topic a bit. This post is really just about Oscar and how I sometimes worry a little about those outside influences. I think children learn much quicker from other children than they do from adults. Candice and I pour out so much energy, patience, time and research into raising him so that he will grow up to have a high level of emotional intelligence. I guess my concerns come from a fear that all our hard work could become interrupted, derailed. The scariest part is that he is only TWO. How are we going to be when he’s a teenager?!

I say all this but Oscar hasn’t actually picked up any bad behavior habits yet. Just the usual meltdowns, the 2-year-old irrational requests and decisions. He’s a good kid and I know I probably worry for no reason but I’m a parent now. Isn’t that what we’re meant to do?

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One thought on “Outside influence

  1. I think about this all the time. Our boys go to an inner-city childcare center that is run like an Ivy League Upstate daycare (because it’s free and my wife works there, but also because we absolutely LOVE the school and the staff). My concern was, “these kids don’t come from some great places, and without assuming (because i’ve seen it with my own eyes) don’t have parents that can mamage their lives very well. But the more and more I think about it, I think about all the good stuff that those kids AND my kids bring and how that stuff is rubbing off on each other too. It’s not so great to see my kid hitting his brother becuase he saw his buddy at daycare do it, but I SOOOOO love to walk in and the kids are hugging each other and saying, “that’s ok you boo boo! I tiss! I tiss! (kiss)” We say that at home all the time! Worrying…ugh! We’ll all be fine, right?! LOL!

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