34 weeks

We’ve come a lonnnnng way in the last 14 weeks! The waiting game is no longer scary for us and knowing there’s only 6 weeks left until the due date feels like a dream.

I’ve been having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions, far more than I did during my pregnancy with Oscar. They’re becoming really uncomfortable and actually a little painful that I’ve timed them on a few occasions just to make sure they weren’t the beginning of early labour. Thankfully they haven’t been.

I’m still struggling with my fasting levels for the gestational diabetes which has been getting me down. I expect that my nightly dosage will be increased again this week and continue to be increased right until the end. It seems like the insulin injections are constantly trying to play catch up with my body. Each time my dose gets increased, my fasting levels will be acceptable for about 2 days. Then they start to rise again at which point my dosage is increased by another 4 units. This gives me acceptable results for a couple of days before they again start to rise. Repeat, repeat, repeat. I’m also now on a morning rapid release insulin that I need to have with breakfast because even a single piece of multigrain toast has become enough to push my levels to breaking point.

I’ve also started physically pushing myself a little to hard which I need to pull back on. I feel frustrated all the time with feeling unable to do things that sometimes I just convince myself that I can but it never ends well. Last week, I needed to go the chemist to pick up more meds so thought since I was already out of the house I would stop in at another store. It was a quick in and out trip to get some treats for the party favour bags that I’m making for Oscar’s birthday celebration. Sounds like a simple enough task but by the time I got home (I was out of the house for no longer than an hour) the fresh sanitary pad I had put on before leaving the house had overflowed, soaked through my dress and I literally had fluid running down my legs. I spent the next few days taking it easy but before long I do something stupid again. Yesterday I convinced myself that it would be fine for me to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things as Candice didn’t get time over the weekend to buy food and I wanted to help. When I got home, my belly felt so sore and I was having a lot of Braxton Hicks. I went to the bathroom to find that I had also passed a small blood clot. I continued to have uncomfortable tightening in my belly for the rest of the evening with cramping type pain along my abdomen. They weren’t regular though and they eventually eased up and I went to sleep.

This has been a hard pregnancy. I really miss feeling independent. I miss being able to do things for myself. I miss being able to go for walks. I miss just being able to contribute. And I really miss being able to pick up and hold my son. I know there’s not long to go, I tell myself that daily. But each and every day feels so draining, so long. I look forward to looking back in a few months, knowing it was all worth it.

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