Toddler logic

I’m learning things at a rapid rate when it comes to the logic of a two-year old. Or shall I say, the lack of logic.

Oscar has taught me that there is simply a right way and a wrong way to do things and that if I am to survive these years with my sanity in tact, I must adapt quickly.

This all started happening just a few weeks before his second birthday. Suddenly if felt like I couldn’t do anything right. I was foolishly offering the green cup instead of the red cup. He would throw a tantrum when I told him it was time to have a bath but then he would throw an even bigger one when I told him that bath time was over. He got upset when he tipped water on his shirt, soaking the front but then lost it when I suggested we take it off to put a dry one on. I gave up and left him in the wet shirt.

Just this week I’ve learnt the correct way to prepare Oscar a banana. That’s right folks, who knew there was a right and wrong way. When he very politely requested one, I picked a banana up out of the fruit bowl and sliced it up onto a plate like I always do. Well, that was a BIG MISTAKE. He took one look at it and started running on the spot saying, “No, no, noooo”. Quite taken aback, I put the banana to the side and picked up another one. He held his arms up and I understood that he actually wanted the banana whole. Sure, I can do that. So naturally, I peel back the skin and offer him the whole skinless banana. Well. He dropped to his knees, covered his eyes and cried. My face was scrunched up in what can only be described as the ‘what the fuck’ look. My palms were getting sweaty as I desperately tried to work out what he wanted. So, once again I reached for the fruit bowl. This time I knelt down in front of him with the sacred fruit and he watched as I started peeling, before quickly reaching out and stopping me when it had been peeled about an inch. He happily skipped away, munching on the patly peeled banana. Luckily bananas grow on trees. I let out a sigh of relief, I had survived another lesson in toddler logic.

Day in, day out, these events are happening. I get it, he’s learning and finding his way. He’s fighting for a sense of independence. It’s all normal toddler behavior.

Meanwhile, I’m over here scratching my head, nervously trying to decide if I should offer him a spoon or fork with his dinner tonight. Yesterday he liked the spoon but today… who the hell knows.

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